The Consequences to Family and Friends
The loss of Adam in our lives has had an enormous impact.
When the Trial was completed we were asked to write about the impact losing Adam had on our lives below are the statements from Family and friends that tries to put into words what that loss is like for us every day that we face without Adam.
On the 5th July 2009, our lives changed forever, David and I had just arrived in Malta on our holiday when we received the news that our lovely son was in critical condition after being assaulted.
Thankfully we returned home in time to say our goodbyes. This was a senseless act that took the life of my precious son.
A light has gone out in our lives. Adam was our much loved and very loving son. His smile lit up our lives, his humour brought joy to our lives and his affectionate nature brought great love.
We have always been a very close family and were lucky to have four wonderful happy sons of whom we are immensely proud. All of them share our values and are decent kind people who care about each other deeply.
As a family we enjoyed spending time together. We all enjoyed walking and have many wonderful memories of hill walking in the Lake District. We also all share a keen interest in a variety of sports and playing, watching and discussing sport has always been a part of our lives. Adam participated in many sports but his real passion was football. He was a Manchester City supporter with his Dad, a keen player since primary school and a talented and respected Coach of Padiham Ladies Football team. Adam did a Sports Coaching degree and was also a qualified and experienced Fitness instructor.
David, his father, has been hit very hard by this tragedy. Adam was David’s first child and we had him late in life. David’s joy was indescribable, more than he could ever believe, we had been blessed. As David looked at Adam he saw not only our beautiful child, but he saw his family specifically his own father. Adam possessed all the great parts of David and his family. He was a walking legacy.
Adam was very close to his Dad and they were very alike in many ways. The bond between them was very special and the loss of this relationship is too painful and difficult to put into words. Dave loves all of his sons but his relationship with Adam had a special element to it because they were so like each other. They were physically similar being the only tall and slim members of the family and the shape of hands and gestures were uncannily identical. They both have a very gentle personality and were very openly loving and affectionate. They could talk for hours about football, politics, music and never tired of having long debates. He shared his father’s natural curiosity about life.
Adam was a significant part of the heart of this family and now we are all missing a beat. He gave all of us his unconditional love and as his Mum I miss his hugs, his smile, his warmth and his presence more than anyone could ever know. I have just retired and one of the things I was looking forward to most was doing more hill walking with Adam. It had been difficult in recent times because his weekends were so full of playing and coaching football. Having more flexibility in my time would have meant Adam could have joined us at our static caravan as a base for walking trips. We had booked to do the Coast to Coast walk in September and Adam was going to help with transport and join us for some stages of the walk. Instead it became a walk for Adam and with the help of 50 of his friends who joined us for two stages of the walk we have raised almost £5000 in sponsorship from the event. This money will go towards what we want to do in Adam’s memory, which is about working with young people to see that violence is not acceptable, not a normal part of a night out and can have such tragic consequences. This we hope will help us to make something positive come from our terrible loss.
Adam was wonderful with children. We know he would have been a fantastic Dad when he had his own family. He would have been a warm, kind and loving husband and he was a much loved and loving son, brother, uncle and friend. We always felt he was special, but since he died we have found out how much he was loved by other people. His friends are grieving terribly and most of them in their early 20’s are so acutely aware of the senselessness of his death.
The trial of the young man who hit Adam was a very traumatic experience for us as a family. To have to listen to what the young man said about our son and the actions after on facebook, to be unable to respond, was very difficult. To watch the last minutes of Adam’s life on CCTV was very poignant and to listen to the accounts of his final moments so many times was incredibly painful. If the young man had faced up to what he had done it would have saved us going through that ordeal.
We as a family know this young male’s life will be radically changed, but he has to be accountable for his actions he took our son away from us by a senseless act. He also needs to benefit from any sentence imposed so that it can have a positive contribution on the rest of his life.
Remembering my son will not have that opportunity. Adams death can never be justified, but to have another life wasted would be a greater tragedy. David will assist with any restorative action that may help this male if given the opportunity, even if it only helps him understand face to face the reality of his actions. Adam always looked for the best in people he never wrote anyone off and we must honour his ethos and beliefs.
Adam was a very happy and much loved young man with his whole life in front of him. His death was so senseless and it has affected hundreds of people. The life we had before the 5th July 2009 is over. We have to try to build a new life, accepting our great loss and learning to live with our pain and grief. We miss him every hour of every day and we ache for his presence in our lives. We know we are in a place where no parent ever wants to be and it is more indescribably, gut wrenchingly painful than any words can tell.
This tragedy has not just affected our family but our wider family that includes all of Adams friends. Like ourselves they are frustrated that Adams voice has not been heard. In truth Adams beautiful voice will never be heard again. We as a family have had no previous involvement with the criminal system and felt aggrieved that this young man could present himself as a pillar of the community at court whilst suggesting that our son was the offender. We want Adams voice to be heard and want the court to understand the true weight of Adams loss not only to us but to the wider community.